literature

Mindless Dreaming

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xZethanyx's avatar
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Literature Text

I said to let go
and they did to.
But for some reason
I still pray for you.

I don't believe in the bible
or whatever it has to say.
But when you're around
I thank god anyway.

I know it's gone
and I know it's just not real.
I know love is nonsense
but try to say that to way I feel.

I've made changes for myself
and I've done good for me too.
But then I realize
I only change for you.

I'm not obsessed
because all I feel is hatred.
I can finish my therapy
but there is one thing that's stuck in my head.

I'm okay with everything you put me through
and my world is restored to it's best.
I let go of the items
but I will never let go of the rest.

I tell myself,
"It's all just wishful thinking."
I say,
"You need to stop this dreaming."

I can't take it.
I want to be the way they want me to,
to just shut up about it and let it be.
I've even heard this from the void of you.

I used to hate it all.
Your talk, your obsessions and your insensitivity.
But I don't care anymore.
I'm willing to put to rest, this ignorance and uncertainty.

I promise I will be everything you want.
I will never complain and finally take my part.
I will open my mind and always be okay
if you were willing to stop and open your heart.

I want to bang my head into a wall
until I completely pass out.
But then I would dream of it
and dream until I awake with a shout.

You're so smart, dedicated and silly.
Sometimes I can tell when you're just being modest.
I remember saying, "You're so mean."
But you just say, "I'm not mean, I'm honest."

I don't like you for the interests,
like colors, movies and things we would argue about for a while.
I loved you. Your humor,
the sign we share, and the way your eyes light up when you smile.

All the other girls that came and went,
they will never know you like I do.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be talking like that.
I understand about you're temper too.

I remember when we first saw eachother.
That day I wonder if I should have actually wore purple.
I wore my black hoodie because I knew I'd get scared.
I would hide my face under the hood, and you'd shout, "Look! Demon Turtle!"

I day dream about these memories.
I just love to relive things like the way they were.
If only I knew then what I know now, things would have stayed.
But who am I to be so sure?

You have changed since then
and I know I have too.
I'll be keeping my eye on that girl you like so much.
I'll be seeing how she treats you.

I didn't like seeing you hurt back then
and I still hate it when you get mad.
Not because it's scary.
The only madness I avoid is my dad.

When I see you cry,
grieve or regret,
I will always be here
to make you forgive and forget.

You remind me of that song by Taylor Swift.
The song was called, "Hey Stephen."
It matched my feelings from the start.
But the name wasn't even.

I try to stop writing
but my interest in you goes on and on.
I just write to forget it,
and I don't see why that is so wrong.
I actually was listening to Hey Stephen when I wrote this lol

It was silly of me to write this, but it makes me feel better. I don't like brooding over something you cant do anything about it, so I either write about it or draw it.
© 2012 - 2024 xZethanyx
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Phantwigurl's avatar
I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like if I don't write about something that is buzzing around in my head ill go insane.